Self Love…

Self Love is something all of us feel very strongly about here at RT Fitness.

Both myself and Dan have written many a blog about the topic of accepting who you are and learning to love yourself.

For a long time I used to thank Ross for loving me, it took me a while to figure out but I realised maybe only recently that this was wrong…

This in itself is an indication that I didn’t love myself, the belief of “how can this wonderful being love someone like me???”

It’s an insinuation that I didn’t believe I deserved it and felt the need to always say “thank you for loving me”…

I appreciate the love I receive from him unconditionally, despite all of my flaws and I am thankful that I receive it…

I AM thankful to have someone in my life who is worth all of MY love, someone who I can grow with and who makes me feel safe…

I have discovered a love of myself that allows me to give my love whole heartedly without feeling the need to hold on and thank him for loving me, to TRY and get him to love me…

He does not complete me…

You are never going to make anyone love you…

You just can’t do it…

Saying thank you to them for loving you isn’t going to make them love you more or keep loving you…

Just like you can’t make people like you…

It just doesn’t work, and I know because I tried for many years to be “liked”, to be accepted…

I changed who I was, changed my approach to life in general to appeal to and keep the masses happy.

It scared me the thought of not being liked, not being loved, scared to speak my mind, scared to express ME in case people didn’t like it.

What the f**k is that all about?

The problem with receiving love from someone else is that it’s as addictive as any drug, if we don’t love ourselves especially, it becomes a validation of who we are, a validation of our worth…

You could be lying awake at night telling yourself that your OK, you must be…

The guy/girl lying next to you loves you right?

So you must be cool?

You learn to rely on this love from the other person instead of dealing with your own dislike for yourself, if you have love from someone else you’ll use it as a crutch and avoid the painful process of learning to love who you are…

Again it’s an addiction, it’s this drug like crutch that we use to get through life instead of dealing with the underlying issue.

The ultimate problem here is that no one is ever going to make it all OK…

Generally you’re placing a huge responsibility on that persons shoulders, trying to get them to keep you afloat, you push them so far with your insecurities and ultimately this will make it all fall apart…

You lose the one you love, and the one who loved you… all because YOU didn’t love YOU…

If you learn to love yourself, you’re going to be

a) Able to give your love, truly and without limitations and

b) You’re going to accept the love you are given,

You will enjoy the happiness of it BUT you will never depend on it and allow it to determine who YOU are.

Loving yourself is the best kind of love, this is what makes YOU stronger.

You’ll enjoy the love you’re engulfed in more and more because you won’t be living in fear that this person is some day going to wake up and realise you’re the worthless person

YOU think you are… If they leave, they leave, it wasn’t destined to be…

Maybe it’s our upcoming nuptials making me think more and more on the subject, but our relationship has never been in a better place, through many a turning circle Ross has supported my growth, encouraged and reassured me when I’ve been a dickhead over my own insecurities which inevitably materialised as his fault (sorry Ross).

I genuinely hope you all find someone who is willing to put all ego aside and say things that will scare them, that you receive love without rules and limitations.

I hope you give your love to others freely, that you experience it fully BUT ALWAYS love yourself too.

I also hope that in discovering your love for yourself you never lose yourself fully, never forget your own self worth, your love for yourself makes you strong and if you don’t have someone who loves you unconditionally, who gives their love to you only when it suits, I hope you have the strength to go out there and find someone worthy…

Learn to love you… it’s tough but it’s sooooo worth it…

S x