My Wedding Dress is in the Bag!!!!

So… I’ve not spoken a lot of the wedding recently… I think part of me doesn’t want to completely bore you senseless, but I think another part of me doesn’t or didn’t want you to know some of the thoughts running around in my head the last few months.

So… when I bought my dress in January I was mega excited!!! I was going to do a bulk to grow my backside a little bit… I can’t actually remember if I wrote much about this after purchasing the dress as it’s always something I don’t like to talk about much because people say, “you’re fine as you are”, or you get those who are wanting to lose weight for their weddings looking at me with pure disgust. I don’t even know why I feel a little embarrassed sharing this with you now, but the dress was ordered in a size 6 and my bottom was measuring in at a size 4, hence why I wanted to work on it, so I was in proportion.

I started training legs twice a week and eating a lot more (all-be it inconsistently) and I could see the changes starting to happen a few months in… cue minor meltdown… “Ross my dress isn’t going to fit”… I was measuring myself every few weeks to check I hadn’t over done it. In my head, I was thinking I’m going to do too much, the dress won’t fit, then logically I was reasoning with my knowledge that there was no physical way that I can add that much muscle to my arse in such a short space of time… Apparently, I could!! I measured in on the cusp of a size 6 a couple of months back and I was like, no more… I can’t grow more my dress won’t fit… Ross was going his ends because he knew I was going a bit mental over it and he’s been trying to get me to train legs more for aaaaages because I’m a proper bro trainer, it’s all back, biceps and bench with me.

I was literally dementing myself as I’m sure many women do over their dress!!!

So the call came in last week that the dress had landed… moment of truth time…

For 3 nights prior I was lying awake thinking about the turn out, thinking about what would happen if it didn’t fit. These thoughts were spilling into my dreams and I was actually dreaming out scenarios… wrong dress delivered, too small, ripped when sitting down… all scenarios that could happen in reality but were completely intensified in my head… nuts!!!

I had a nose bleed the morning of the dress fitting too!!!

So… tried the dress on, and it fit… it fit perfectly, no alterations, my bum had grown into it but not too far!!! The snap happy ladies of the family were taking pictures and smiling and saying all the things you’d want to hear and I loved it… then I was sitting looking at the pictures at home and beside from the tan line I had a moment of doubt… again… I’m assured by my mam that this is perfectly normal… I was worried about my back (as I train this a lot it’s quite muscular when tensed but just big when not…) I was asking my mam if it looked like I had a fat back…

Again… I realise this all probably sounds absolutely ridiculous, I’m writing it and shaking my head at myself… what a dick…

But… I wanted to share it with you… how no matter what shape you’re in… you’re always going to want to do more, to be the best you can be on your big day… I wanted to share with you the actual mental stress you can subconsciously or consciously place on yourself, and tell you to try no to too much… Enjoy the experience because if I’ve learnt anything it comes and goes so fast and the last thing you want to be doing is stressing over it and ruining the experience, the next time I have my dress on will be the day I say “I do”… It will ALL be perfect…

The professionals you entrust to get you through, your coaches, your dress fitter, your planner, everyone… will ensure you have the perfect day and that you feel like a princess. I’ve never EVER seen a bad bride. It’s the day we dream of when we’re little girls with no stress… I think it’d be nice for all of us to have this dream as women instead of letting adulthood take away the magic… It will ALL be PERFECT… Relax and enjoy it…

S x